Sharing something that touched my heart … it is long but worth taking a few minutes …
“If you think the family life that you have now, you will have it forever, maybe you should pay attention to the ordinary days, those that begin with cereal and end up watching movies.
These are the days when my children were playing with the dog, eating ice cream and playing with the hammocks. Evenings that the kids ended up in my bed for those family movie nights.
When my first child cried at the kindergarten’s gate, I thought he would always cry when he were separated from me. But everything happens in stages and in time. Then we overcome enormous problems; allergies, lost game, fish and hamsters dying one after another. But in general, considering the world that we lived in and the familiy that we build, that childhood felt solid and durable.
The nicest thing was that stage when they were rocked on my legs smelling baby perfume and freshly washed hair. The kiss and blessing before bedtime. Leaving them in their room for so little time because they always would wake up in ours.
I worried if I did not read a bedtime story, they would not be motivated to read, and I was sad when they discussed for a toy as if they were to fight for the rest of their lives.
All stages come to an end. The ball is flying in the garden. Board games are filled with dust. I gave away the plastic tub and now they spend hours in the bathtub.
The bedroom door that was always open, suddenly one day it is closed. One day across the street, you stretch your arm to reach the little hand that was always there to grab yours and your thirteen year old boy walks a couple of steps back, pretending not to know you.
You have entered a new territory called adolescence. The child you carried and took care has become a hunchback character infront of the computer. You wonder if you’re doing well, because there is no turning back. You wonder if you can cope with the day without arguing, and just spent remembering those days that seemed eternal and are gone now.
Warnings and consequences no longer work. The talks after lunch no longer exist. Do what you can, as you can: fill the freezer, permits negotiate, supervise, attend meetings of qualifications, stop going to parties, and ignore the room seems to have been bombed.
They ask for money again. Try not to ask too many questions. You try to get all the answers. You come back to fill the freezer. Shopping pizzas. You look out over the balcony to see the party. You learn to chat with them. You learn to pray for them. During the night you are alert. You become expert at reading between lines, to interpret glances, to determine odors.
You say “what’s up ma” and suddenly you are facing a truth that you know for a while and you refused to face. Now the young do not need the backpack prepared or the jacket zipped. He needs your trust.
Do you remember yourself?, you have to let them go and practice the art of living in the present. Savor every minute you have, here and now, having dinner with your family and saying goodnight in person. kissing on the cheek and forehead blessing, although it seems that they do not like.
We can not change the growth of our children, but we can change our attitude to it, instead of saying what should be corrected, think of what passed and achieved, because at any moment you’ll be hugging your little 1.80 meters tall and you’ll do on tiptoe to whisper that you’ll miss him.
The house has a new kind of silence. A liter of milk turns sour. A slice of cake is spared for you, but you are no longer hungry. Nobody asks you to take anywhere.
Then I look at my husband, sitting at the dining table, which suddenly became very big for two, and wonder how it all happened so fast. My library is full of albums with twenty years of pictures: piñatas, awards, parties and Christmas. However, what I want most is those treasured memories; those who wish to relive, those are the moments that no one thought of photographing; those times that passed daily between the kitchen and TV room. Breakfast cereal in pajamas and curl up to watch a movie at the end of the day.
I took a long time to think about it but I can definitely assure you that the greatest gift he has given me was my family, which made my greatest treasure. It is the gift of those cute and perfect ordinary days. ”